Just got back today from Therme Vals in the eastern part of Suisse. Best, wonderful refreshing time of my life. I hope I never forget the feeling of lying down in a fluffy robe on the balcony...music drifitng through the open doorway and feeling the Alps air on my face and feeling just the best in the world. Sounds so lame to write but in person...I can't explain how perfectly wonderful and "à l'aise" I felt. The fog rising off the pool in the morning....beautiful beautiful. Concrete and stone blocks cut through by slivers of light...the reflections of water on the rough, industrial walls. I love to be alone...and somehow I felt so alone there. It felt like winter but where was my big sweater? Actually the feeling to me was just like "Il Mare" which is the best movie ever in visual feeling for me. Blue greys...peaceful and warm and cool and lonely and happy. Something like that.

I never in my life listened to jazz before because of several reasons...one being that my freshman dorm had like a million Kangol wearing, cigarette smoking and peacock strutting assholes who all played the sax, or something. I guess it's difficult to separate the worker and the work um. So the album in my room (other than the strange new age cacophonous crap they had) was "Kind of Blue." Haha. But actually soooo great. I think I am going to change my apartment a bit so it has the feeling of the house in Il Mare. I mean no, not like put the apartment in a lake (although I wish) but somehow that warm cool closed in but open feeling I felt in the hotel room. I never felt so comfortable in my life. The feeling was amazing, I felt amazing...so I know what it feels to be happy, for a bit at least. I wish I had had some better books to read though than the leftover crap that Italians had left behind. "Callgirl" and "Temptation." I am not sure which was worse but I have to read a book a day in a place like that...anyways...so amazing. Why can't it always be like that? I have had enough of bitter...