Clavdia and I went to see The Chosen on Friday night. Wow, who thought of making a bildungsroman of a Hasid and a merely orthodox Jew into a slightly comedic play starring GENTILES. Very bizarre...the audience included those old enough to remember the first WW and real life dwarves. Clavdia and I thought that Danny and Reuven were kind of hot though. Everyone on stage was crying when Reb Saunders explained the silence bit so I thought it would be fun to force myself to cry as well. It's actually quite easy.

I saw Clarks yesterday. I've never hung out with him IRL but it was quite fun! I haven't seen him since 2003. We ate at some totally blah but delicious place called "Luigi's" where I ordered a MEATBALL SPLASH. What a name. Everyone kept looking at me funny but I think it was because we were talking about poo porn. Like eating it and throwing it up into each other's mouth. Then we went back to my house to pick up my id and then went all the way back to the wine bar next door. This bar was filled with crazies. Like I actually thought they were all crazy. Ohio I love you!

Too much food all the time. I feel so fat. But I'm addicted to restaurant hopping. Chilling with Gundam is like old times. I'm taking a note from Peawok and going to use nicknames. Gundam, you know who you are I know you're reading this! I can't wait to watch 7000 movies and then bake hors d'oeuvres and then roll around in bed. I am like the mother in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Sometimes I see pictures of insanely obese people and I'm all "I feel ya." Once you start eating it's hard to stop. Like eating Pringles. This is so full circle and all comes back down to food. I guess I really do love food and fashion. So...watching Unzipped while eating matzo ball soup (a theme) and browsing style.com sounds good.

I just like overindulging...one of my favorite anecdotes is about Turtleneck-and-Hoodless-Sweatshirt from high school. She just stopped eating one day and I said WHAT'S WRONG to which she answered I'M FULL. Further probing led to her admitting that she had NEVER OVEREATEN IN HER LIFE. OR UNDEREATEN. That is the most insane thing I have ever heard up to date. Turtleneck-and-Hoodless-Sweatshirt has been a role model of mine (of sorts) since then. Except I don't approve of wearing turtlenecks with hoodless sweatshirts even though that's so lame that it's sort of cool.

I think I need to actually break out this outfit. It's way too color coordinated and cutesy (there are bows on the gloves) but something about it is appeals to me.

But first I need to get a manicure...

I am so obsessed with acrylics but the aftermath is horrible. My nails are so jagged, weak and break if I breathe on them. But I love having totally inappropriate pink nails while looking like my Monday morning crap self. It's all about the dichotomy.

Watched today: Yukan Club 4 and 5. Pretty horrible but not everything can be Gokusen.

Three temporary "cures" for insomnia:

1. Think about carving a turkey. I patented (in my brain) this one back 6-7 years ago. Thinking about this (it should be a very Normal Rockwell spread) is so incredibly boring that you will immediately have very strange thoughts that turn into dreams and then you pass out.

2. Try to slow your heartbeat. Try to lull yourself to sleep. This one doesn't work but it seems like it would.

3. Take Ambien. This one will have you experiencing incredibly realistic dreams about animals attacking you or epic wars. But then you feel groggy when you wake up. After hallucinating for several hours that there were magical floating lights in my room and tiny people living in the woodwork (I tried to kill them leading to many splinters in my fingers) after taking it made me rethink this addiction.

Reading mysteries is good too after eating a big bowl of pasta. (See ditalini and digitalin).

Eating ditalini

Reading an old favorite about digitalin.

Barilla pasta is not bad at all. Especially when it cost like $1.40 at Fairway.

When you hear of upcoming weddings, do you ever feel the need to STOP THAT WEDDING AT ANY COST despite not caring whatsoever? I do.

Regret is so terrible. Even little regrets. I still remember throwing out my childhood pillow (there is some psychological term for this, I know) when I was 11 and when I think about it now it still makes me a little teary. Then there are the retarded regrets where you are just intimidated by everything (me ages 13-15). Arnold Klein one time asked our class (in general) what those little silver kind of inedible hard balls are on pastries and "dragées" was on the tip of my tongue but I'm such a wuss. Well that's his own fault because I always feel like I'm going to have a heart attack in the middle of the class. Like, omg, I don't know what I'm going to do because I might have formally analyzed this passage wrong! I am not using the terms defined by the author! Fuck no I'm not sitting in anymore Arnold I am no longer your semi-drone!